SENZATALE
by Dark-Moon-4011
Summary: what's a guy supposed to do, eh?
1. phase 1

_DARK._

 _DARKER._

 _YET DARKER._

Sans had heard these words lifetimes over, each time followed by that same unbearable pain, the same flashing lights, the same broken empty howling filling his skull. Every time, he was taken back to his genesis, momentarily, for an instant, even, but it was an instant impossible to endure. The only reason he could get through it was because he was already dead.

This sequence was never new, never surprising, never any less terrifying. Sans never asked his brother about it. He didn't even know if his brother went through the same process he did. But then, his brother didn't seem to get himself into as many mortal situations either...

And again, as always, he saw his Father, imminent, transcending the universes, in his eternal suffering, being torn to pieces and thrown far and wide through the void.

 **and then**

* * *

Sans woke up where he had been cut down. It was night, and he was the only being he could see around. He sat up, and brushed his dust off from his jacket, and sighed, and made his weary way back home.

It was a short peace, Sans mused, and Frisk had been a good ambassador. But then Frisk got sick, and died, and the monsters were accused of killing them. And so they fled the mounting persecution back to their old homes. The barrier was resealed exactly three years after it had been broken. The uncanny resemblance to the first imprisonment of the monsters did not go unnoticed by most. Only now, it was impassable.

Not that Sans felt particularly trapped. The whole getting to the surface thing seemed like a nice dream, but he never really yearned for it. Or rather, he stopped yearning for it very quickly. The whole thing seemed... surplus to requirement. And Sans hated doing more than was required. Hell, Sans was born out of doing more than was required, and he sometimes wondered whether that was even a good thing. If there was a choice between the sweet nothingness of the void and a relentless mortal cycle of pain and effort - Sans couldn't see any competition between the two.

Having said that, the void he visited so frequently was hardly a sweet nothingness.

Sans put his hand up to his face. _dammit, my eyesocket's got a fracture,_ It would heal soon enough, but it just meant that there would be questions when he got back home.

He came back into Snowdin and walked up to the river. It wasn't for the view - it was the easiest way to check whether everything was alright or if he was stuck in a different

 _fuck it's this one._

Sans' eyes were red. One of his teeth was gold. He took off his jacket and for the first time since he'd woken up realised it was black.

In this Universe, Sans had to play evil.

* * *

As Sans neared his house, the bell tower struck midnight.

 _oh f-f-fuck_ , Sans muttered to himself, _i'm late for c-curfew._ The anxiety was beginning to set in.

As if on call, Papyrus flung open the door and wheeled around to face his brother running up the street.

"AND WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN, YOU TARDY WASTE OF A MARROWSACK," Papyrus yelled, his eyes growing brighter and brighter with every word.

"i-i-i-i'm sorry pap-p-pap-pyrrrus, i-i-i-"

"HOW **DARE** YOU!" Papyrus screamed. His eyes spewed forth a bright red vapor trail, as he swung his arm around and hit Sans in the face with something Sans noticed for the first time he was holding a leash with a leather dog collar. Sans felt his face again and noticed the fracture had turned into a small chip missing from the corner of his left eyesocket, which found itself lying in the snow in front of him. He lunged to pick it up, and avoided a second blow with the leash.

"YOU REFER TO ME AS BOSS!" Papyrus hollered. "BOSS! NOT BROTHER, NOT BRO, OR BROSKY, OR BROTHERINO, OR MATE OR PAL OR FRIEND OR BUDDY AND **CERTAINLY** DO NOT DARE TO USE MY NAME!" _fuck he's worse than normal._ "WHILE YOU WERE ASLEEP A HUMAN MADE THEIR WAY THROUGH SNOWDIN. YOU MUST FIND THEM BEFORE THEY REACH THE CORE!

"but b-b-boss, it's midnight a-and i-i-i-"

"NO EXCUSES! YOU WERE ASLEEP ON THE JOB, SO YOU WILL BE WELL RESTED!" Papyrus slowly made his way up to Sans, who found himself reversing again until his back ended up against the present tree. "AND ONE MORE THING!" his brother hissed, pulling out the now-formidable pet collar from his pocket and placing it around Sans' neck. "DON'T **EVER** TALK BACK TO ME AGAIN!" he spat out, yanking the collar so tightly around Sans' neck it made him wheeze. "NOW GO! AND YOU BETTER BRING THAT HUMAN BACK, OR YOUR CHIPPED EYE SOCKET WILL BE THE LEAST OF YOUR WORRIES."

* * *

Sans was just over the bridge into Waterfall and safely out of sight of Papyrus when he had a thought.

 _what if it's Frisk?_

Just because Frisk had died in Sans' home timeline didn't mean that he had in any other - in fact it was rather unlikely considering in many of the other timelines he encountered, resets were happening almost daily. He hadn't been back to this Universe since before Frisk died (several years for him, probably no more than a few hours for the demonic reimagining of his brother), but had seen them (or at least a version of them) regularly in that world before.

The walls and floor of Waterfall's elaborate cave networks gleamed and glistened, and Sans took the opportunity to find a reflection and stare into his own ember-like eyes. He much preferred white. Red scared him to the very core. It was the colour Frisk's eyes turned when Chara took control of them. All Sans could do was sit and watch and fight and die.

Sans had never killed Frisk outright. He didn't even think he had it in him. He had seen Frisk turn into an irredeemable monster and still couldn't muster enough courage. He had turned into a soul-powered seraph in this world - a maniacal tormentor in his own. But Frisk's soul was a human soul, and had the power to persist after death, and Sans could never find it in himself to destroy it completely or take it for himself. And so Frisk came back again and again, to so many of the different universes. Sometimes other humans came too - but they never stayed. They left and never returned.

Frisk never appeared in the same timeline twice. Some of these timelines were very similar, granted, but they never had gone back through the same one the 'wrong way'. They never righted his wrongs in any of the timelines he corrupted, and they never undid the good they did in the timelines they redeemed.

 _i even saw them grow old and have a family._

But Sans knew the story of this timeline by now; he knew the rules and they cut him to the core like a rusty dagger. The monsters in this Universe hated humans without fail. They wanted to destroy them, and Frisk could either show them mercy or slaughter their way through. There was no middle ground.

 _KILL or be killed._

* * *

It wasn't Frisk who came walking through this timeline.

Sans didn't really care. All he knew was that it was getting DARK

DARKER

YET DARKER


	2. intermezzo 1

🎵 Beware the man who speaks in hands.  
 _With a fal-de-ral-de-dee  
_ A man with vision high and bright,  
To the count of one He deceived me.

He took me from His bosom own,  
And sold my soul to make things known.  
Our little **TALE** has just begun;  
He deceived me to the count of one.🎵


	3. þḩầşế ƻ - ρᾀѓԷ ӏ

p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"span class="comicsans"emit smells like gas.../em/span/p  
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"emuYou need any help there, Sans?/u/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"Sans turned to see a familiar figure holding their hands up to him./p  
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"emuI'll light your way.../u/em/p  
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"The hands conjure up fire - the fire comes towards you - no - the fire is spreading towards you - in an instant the whole void is ablaze -/p  
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"span class="game"strongand then/strong/span/p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /  
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"Sans bolted upright in his bed, wiping the dust off his shoulders. He... he was in a cold sweat. He knew he had died, he knew he had moved again, but/p  
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"emthe dream./em/p 


	4. phase 2 - part 1 - REBOOT

Error smirked. He was having a lot of fun. Ink, on the other hand, seemed to be a little touchy.

 _what's the problem, buddy?_

um... um... could you... could you just let him land properly, Error? You're screwing my mind a little here. It's awful hard to parse the universe like this.

 _ugh... fine._

And Error ripped Sans from the timeline and sent him back to the beginning of the phase again.

* * *

 _it smells like gas..._

 _You need any help there, Sans?_

Sans turned to see a familiar figure holding their hands up to him.

 _I'll light your way..._

The hands conjure up fire - the fire comes towards you - no - the fire is spreading towards you - in an instant the whole void is ablaze -

 **and then**

* * *

Sans bolted upright in his bed, wiping the dust off his shoulders. He... he was in a cold sweat. He knew he had died, he knew he had moved again, but

 _the dream._

That vision of the void was new. He'd never seen anyone else there before - except for his Father, of course.

He looked at the decor of his room, hoping to find a sign, something that could help him identify where he was now. _nope. just my normal room._ This was the bog-standard room that stayed the same in the vast majority of the timelines, including Sans' homeverse. Same sock piles, same carpet stains, same bookshelf Sans meant to fix however many deaths ago and was still lying crooked, same desk, even the same trash tornado, everything seemed ident-

 _why the shit is Asriel sleeping in my room?_

Well, that narrowed it down a bit at least. _So Asriel is alive and all grown up._ Sans looked down. He was wearing his blue hoodie, the pool sliders, the shorts - the usual combination. Except there was one difference. He had a tattoo - simply the letter X on the back of his left hand, nothing else. He struggled to remember its associations. _why is it there? what does it mean? which universe is this?_ He'd obviously been here before - he'd gone to get the tattoo done, he must have lived through this timeline since he was a mere baby bones drawn from the earth, he must know why Asriel's here...

At this point Asriel stretched and started to wake up. He very slowly opened one eye, then the other, and only **then** could Sans place in any small way where he was.

He wasn't facing Asriel.

He was facing Asriel and Frisk.

In this Universe, Sans had played Doctor.

* * *

"SHILOH!?" Papyrus' voice rang through the house. _right, so that was their name. i am beginning to remember._

The other monster drowsily stumbled onto their feet and heavily padded their way to the door of the bedroom, not paying Sans a single bit of attention.

" **Yah?** " Shiloh responded, twitching their nose. His voice was deep, deeper than Sans could remember - how long had it been since Frisk had arrived into everyone's lives in this Universe?

"DO YOU WANT SOME PANCAKES?" Papyrus excitedly proffered. _so in this universe it's pancakes. alright._

Shiloh suddenly turned around and looked at Sans, who started a little at the movement. " **You think I should eat them?** "

Sans faltered. He wasn't quite back at home here yet, he didn't know what was the 'canon' answer. He tried something vague. "you know how well Papyrus can cook, bro."

" **That's a fair point.** " Shiloh turned around and opened the door a crack. " **Thanks Papyrus, I'll take six!** " _well that was not the answer i was expecting._

Shiloh turned around and plopped back down on his bed. " **Say, why you wearing that stupid collar around your neck anyway? What were you getting up to last night?** " Sans immediately flushed and his hands shot too his neck. _fuck_. Sans sheepishly undid the collar and Shiloh winked and stuck his tongue out at Sans. " **Nah, don't worry, whatever you're into, I'll make a note. Besides, you indulge my little quirks too, so we'll call it even.** " And he stuck his tongue out again. _the damned flower used to do that too._ Oh wait - this was the damned flower.

" **Say, you're looking kinda dazed and confused, bub. What gives?** " Shiloh came and sat next to Sans, a good foot taller than the skeleton. Sans turned to face him, and looked again into those eyes - those telltale eyes that helped him start to grasp what he had to be this time around. One was mottled dark red and green - those were the eyes of a prince. The other, however, was a deep chocolate brown - and Sans could recognise that eye across any timeline. That was the eye of a hero.

"i'm just thinking. everything seems up in the air at the moment. i feel... lost, listless. i don't know where my life is taking me." _well, i'm not lying_. Sans was trying to keep the whole thing as vague as possible. He still couldn't remember the history of this place - whether they were overground, whether Undyne and Alphys were together, whether any humans had arrived between Gaster's schesis problem and Frisk falling into the Underground - he couldn't even remember whether Frisk had killed.

But piece by piece, he was starting to remember how Shiloh was created.

* * *

🗓️🕰️🗓️🕰️🗓️

" _Shiloh_ means 'place of peace'. It also is similar to the word for 'combination'." That was Toriel, scanning through a Hebrew dictionary to find a new name for her child.

" **Why do we have to come up with a new name, Tori?** " That was Asgore, anxious to ensure that he had a say in the name of his own offspring.

"Asriel is dead, Asgore. His memories are there, but - our son is dead. We cannot fight that. There _is_ no more Asriel." Toriel sighed, and looked over to the hospital bed, on which an emaciated Frisk was lying next to a golden flower with a face.

Flowey was silent, staring intently at Frisk with bemusement and awe. Frisk, for his part, wasn't really looking at all that much - he was gently staring out into the middle distance. When he first suggested transferring his soul to Flowey so that he could regain his original form, the idea was received with doubt. Even Toriel and Asgore, who were both delighted and horrified to find out about the reincarnation of their son, didn't think it right. But Frisk insisted, and gradually everyone was won over.

Then, they realised it meant that Frisk had to die.

Alphys, keen to redeem herself from the amalgamation experiments, promised to help find a way to achieve the whole end result humanely and, for the most part, everyone was willing to help. Except Sans. Sans wanted no part in any more determination work. It had ruined him.

And so, as Frisk sighed out his final few hours worth of breath, Sans was nowhere to be seen.

The room had fallen silent. It must have been half an hour before Frisk muttered, "I like Shiloh." Flowey silently nodded.

Asgore hadn't the heart to refuse.

🗓️🕰️🗓️🕰️🗓️

* * *

This world. It needed getting used to. A world with both Asriel and Frisk - but without either of them at the same time. _screws me up in the head a little._ He wasn't sent here very often, and so when he was he had a lot of work to do, trying to fill in the gaps. But at the moment that wasn't what was on Sans' mind.

 _why did i still have the collar on?#_

That one he had no idea about. It had never happened before - never had he carried an object from one Universe to another, and more to the point, he couldn't envisage how it would work or why it would have started.

Shiloh, on his part, could sense Sans' worry, and cornered him over lunch as they made their way to the library (Sans had fast relearnt that this was a standing ritual between the two of them).

" **Hey, fren, what's up? You seem - you seem really down about something. Not even down - like - I know what that's about - but - like - a different - goddammit, I don't know how to put this, I -** "

"can i talk to the **flowery** bit of you for a second?" Sans spat that word out like it was venom from a bite wound - he could not hide the hatred he held for that flower and all he had done.

" **Whoa, Sans, are you - are you sure you - you want to do that? You don't seem to get on too -** " Shiloh suddenly stopped - Sans' right eye light had gone, and his left had turned from a bright white to a sparkling blue. This wasn't anger - this was pain. Torment. Sorrow.

"you have to wake that bit of you up again, shiloh - just for a little while. you have to keep hold of him, but i have to ask him one thing."

" **You can just ask me, Sans, he and I are literally the same...** " Shiloh stopped. Sans' eyes had switched. He was really tearing himself up about something.

Sans sighed. It hurt him to say this, and he knew it would hurt Shiloh too, although he didn't know why, but

"i need a "you" i recognise..."

Shiloh didn't seem surprised. He didn't react, he didn't look taken aback, or hurt, or upset, or confused - nothing. He just blinked, solemnly nodded as his eyes slowly faded from their bright mottled variety of colours to a plain black iris in each.

Sans shuddered. Pointedly, he enunciated: "how do you cope with not knowing where you are every time you wake up?"

Shiloh just stared with a smirk. After about a minute, his eyes faded back to their original colours - the left Asriel's, the right Frisk's - eyes now full of worry and pity.

" **You can't remember this world can you, Sans?** "

But Sans had already disappeared from his sight. Deep inside, he'd known. The **flowery** part definitely did.

" **You can't remember who _we_ are.**"


	5. phase 2 - INTERMISSION

Now Error was bored.

c-c-cmon, Error, just relax a little.

 _it's so dull when i'm not allowed to mess around with him._

that's not funny, Error, you can't just mess around with him like that.

 _well then, what am i supposed to do, huh?_

Error wheeled around and thrust his face directly into Ink's. Ink could feel a faint glimmer of that burning itch he got every time Error's threads punched through him just from the contact.

 _without a glitch in the system i am useless, Ink!_ _ **USELESS**_ _!_

i-i-i get you, Error, but nonetheless i don't think our Father will be very happy if-

 _forget our Father, i want to live for myself! how are you not tired of just staying in this void, this substanceless abyss - how can you not just want to_ _ **SCREAM**_ _?!_ Error's eyes filled momentarily with glitches.

i-i-i-i c-c-create things, Error - that's how i spend my t-t-time.

 _but i can't do that! i can only destroy. you see? i spend my life 'creating' the very thing that traps me - emptiness! nothingness! you create a new universe for Sans to run around in - all i can do is destroy it!_ _ **HOW**_ _am i supposed to find any purpose there? even He has more of a time with it all, throwing him from Universe to Universe, choosing which timeline he falls into next! all i can do is prevent it from going wrong!_ _ **NOW**_ _do you see why -_

Ink didn't know what he was supposed to see, because Error suddenly flew - no, was pulled - back from him by his midriff. A trail of code followed him, as he was dragged through the Void. oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no

Ink rose to his feet and went after his brother, who he found tied up in threads - not his own deep blue threads, but threads of the most brilliant white. A voice, broken, frail, thunderous, profound, suddenly echoed through the void.

SOMEONE SEEMS TO BE UNHAPPY WITH MY CHOICES.

Ink looked up to see their Father awakened from His sleep, his threads around Error, his eyes a depthless black.

WE WILL CORRECT THIS SMALL DISCIPLINARY ... INTERRUPTION.

Error's bit-blocked eyes widened and he opened his mouth to scream, but more threads soon put an end to that silly idea. Then the Father sent beams of thread shooting at Error from all directions, piercing through him and restraining him further. Ink couldn't turn away - the threads had grabbed him too, and forced his eyes open, forcing him to watch the seemingly interminable Passion of his brother.

When in an extra-temporal Void, how long things go on for is difficult to figure out - so when the torture finally ended, it seemed like several aeons had passed.

Error was dropped to the ground as the white threads dispersed. Ink looked up to their Father with sadness and loathing in his eyes, but He had already returned to his own Golgotha to await the next visit from his prodigal son. Error was barely a coherent being - he had a hole torn straight through his centre, and bits of him were orbiting in a kind of asteroid belt of data. Luckily, Ink was able to fix him - he could fix anything in this Void - but seeing his brother like this made him feel sick.

Even so, he kept one eye down to the Universe where Sans was trying to piece his own soul back together.


End file.
